Break Up Advice For
No one enjoys a break up, and it is an experience that most of us would
probably avoid at all costs if given the option. If it is a breakup that you hope to survive and grow from
though, there is some key break up advice for women that we should all know and
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The first is that it’s alright to allow yourself some time to
grieve, especially if this was a big relationship in your life. Don’t feel bad for taking a few days to
huddle under your covers with bad lifetime movies, a good friend, and a few cartons of ice cream. Take a
mental health day or two from work, and don’t try to stop yourself from crying. Grief is a necessary
component to healing, and if you don’t allow yourself that time you may find that you never feel better.
Allow yourself to question where it all went wrong,
and to wonder if there is any way to get him back. These are
all healthy and normal reactions to losing someone you once cared about, and there is an adjustment period
that is acceptable when you are trying to rebuild.
What you shouldn’t do is give in to these feelings for more than
a week. That isn’t to say they won’t still be there (because they likely will be, and even when you think
they are gone it is probable they may still sneak up on you from time to time when you least expect it). It’s
just that you can’t hide out in your bed forever. At some point you have to re-enter the real world and face
life again as a single woman. A week of being a hermit is a good time frame, but after that you need to start
returning to your normal day to day routine.
Work can be a great distraction, and this isn’t an inappropriate
time to throw yourself head first into a new project. Take on something you find interesting, or that could
help you accomplish an overall goal. Don’t worry about dating or getting back into the swing of things now;
instead focus on reinventing your own life and finding success in arenas outside the romantic realms. Focus
on your friends, your job, or a new hobby; anything to pull the focus away from the absence of the person you
had come to rely on.
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After a few weeks, stop allowing yourself to talk about him.
Dwelling on the past will do you no good, and it will only serve as a constant reminder of the pain you’ve
just experienced. Start making it a point to smile, and to appear as though you aren’t thinking about him
every second (even if you are). If necessary, keep the conversations focused on the lives of whoever you are
talking to; you may find that by doing so you become enmeshed in helping and being there for others and stop
focusing so much on the pain you are feeling. Regardless, the simple act of feigning happiness typically
starts to produce actual happiness. It doesn’t happen over night, but it is likely that if you really try you
may wake up one day and realize you don’t have to try as hard anymore.