Dating Rules For Women


young couple datingIf you ask 100 different people what the dating rules for women are, you will likely get 100 different answers. There are entire books dedicated to this subject, and even niche spinoffs such as the rules for online dating and those for second date etiquette. Single women have been known to throw themselves so deeply into following the “rules” that they lose all sense of self. In the end, that can’t possibly be the point, right?


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Dating is a game (whether we like it or not) and every good game has a well defined set of rules. The problem with the rules of dating is that they have been manipulated and extended over and over again to meet the needs of a particular subset of men; disregarding that there then become entirely different types of rules for every other kind of man.


The rules of dating shouldn’t be so difficult for a women to figure out, and they should apply to every man – not just those that are terrified of commitment (because do you really want to “win” a man who is terrified of commitment?) All of the rules have the same starting point, so here are the basics that women should live by: 


  • Don’t appear to be needy. Better yet: Don’t be needy. No matter what a man says, none of them wants a woman who is going to be clingy and dependent (and if they do, you probably have a potential abuser on your hands – no one wants that). It’s important that you have a life of your own, and that finding Mr. Right isn’t your number one priority. This doesn’t mean that you should make up obligations to put off dates so that you appear busy (most men can pick up on this trick and they find it annoying), it simply means that you should actually have obligations and plans. If you are available, great; be available! There is nothing wrong with accepting a date when you actually can. Just don’t be sitting by the phone waiting for that date, and don’t rearrange prior engagements to meet your suitors every whim. 
  • Smile. Be happy. Love your life. This may all seem counterintuitive if what you really feel like you need is a man, but if you find a way to be happy with the other aspects of your life you will be surprised at how many more men are knocking down your door. Men are drawn to warmth and positivity, and a woman who truly carries herself with excitement for this life is far more likely to be approached than one who is constantly focusing on the negative. Focus on being truly happy with all the other areas of your life and the men will surely follow. 
  • Be yourself. Really. If you are crass, don’t be afraid to be crass. If you are deathly afraid of something silly, own up to it. He is going to find out these things eventually, and while it is important to make a good first impression, it is also important that he not find himself questioning what happened to the woman who he first went out with months down the line. That’s when you’ll find yourself wondering when it was that he lost interest. It’s OK to polish up some of the less refined parts of your personality, but in the end you are going to want a man who loves you for you, so don’t be afraid to show him who that is. 

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Let’s not be afraid to start with the basics ladies. It’s when we try to control every aspect of our dating lives (and our personalities) that things get out of hand and we end up truly limiting our dating pool. Keep your options open and your life full of possibilities. If you follow these simple rules, and remain open, honest, and true to you; love is sure to follow. 

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