If your relationship has just gone to the brink and survived, you may be surprised to find
that you don’t feel the elation you would have expected. Sure, you came out the other end stronger, but now;
how do you deal with relationship depression?
People always expect for happy
events to fill them up with joy, but sometimes there are so many different things going on that the simple fact of
surpassing the event itself can cause depression. You see this all the time with the baby blues. A mother who has
been ecstatic to meet her new little one, now can’t stop herself from crying once the baby is out of her
It’s a combination of hormone
fluctuations and the end of a climactic event that does it, but nonetheless you end up with a mama who should be
overjoyed, and who instead is a bit of a mess.
When your relationship hits a
point where everything could be over, and then suddenly bounces back, this should be a happy event and you likely
expect to feel nothing but excitement over the rebound. That may not be the case though. It’s possible that you
will continue todeal with the aftershocks of the near miss for a long time,
and it’s completely normal that you would find yourself in a bit of a slump after a catastrophic flaw was found in
a relationship you once believed to be solid. The normaldating rules no longer apply, and you
and your partner have to allow yourselves the time to rebuild what has been broken.
If cheating was involved, this is a hurdle that may take some real effort to
surpass. If you were cheated on, even if you’ve decided to forgive, it’s normal that it may not be so easy to
forget. You were betrayed and your trust was taken for granted. For a moment there, you probably thought that there
was no way the two of you could ever recover, and now that you have; the expectation for happiness from here on out
is likely palpable. You need to remember though that after every serious earthquake there is a cleanup period, and
aftershocks are inevitable. Your relationship has just survived “The Big One”, so give yourself time to heal, and
allow yourself the chance to grieve. If your partner really loves you they will understand your need for this
If you were the cheater, your
depression is possibly even more understandable. No one likes knowing they hurt someone they loved, and even though
you’ve been forgiven, that guilt is still likely to linger for quite some time. Pretending as though nothing
happened isn’t going to get you anywhere, but neither is continuously bringing up a situation your partner would
rather forget. All you can do is attempt to get back into a regular routine and show this person daily how much
they mean to you. It is a fracture that will not likely ever heal completely, but if given time, you will probably
notice that it stops stinging quite so much.
A cataclysmic event doesn’t have
to happen for a relationship to near its end however. Even if nothing major pushed the two of you apart, it’s
possible you still may find yourself uneasy as the rebuilding begins. The knowledge that your relationship
isthat fragile may be enough to
have you questioning it and wondering how long it will be before a break occurs again. This fear will inevitably
lead to a bit of relationship depression, and it is understandable. However, it’s important to keep in mind that no
relationship is perfect, and that the fear of a broken heart could be applied just as easily to a new relationship
as it could be to this old one.
bones heal, they are almost stronger as a result, and they rarely break in the same place twice. The same
applies to relationships, and if yours was one that was worth saving you should be able to find solace in the
fact that you were able to come out the other side stronger – together. Eventually you will find yourself
laughing more than you cry, and the fear of the past event will start to fade. The best thingyou can do at the height of
relationship depression is remind yourself why this relationship was worth saving in the first place, and
what it is about this person that you love the most. With time, you will find your way back to the happy
relationship you once cherished.